Dirty Jokes You’ve Heard

We’ve all heard some pretty gross jokes in our day-to-day lives, but what are the funniest dirty ones you’ve listened to? Some of the best examples are a hippie chick, a hockey player, a peeping tom, and a pickpocket. Below, we share our favorites. Let us know in the comments!

a hockey player

There are several types of dirty jokes involving a hockey player. These jokes have a specific meaning for the players and may not be appropriate for all audiences. For example, if you want to make a hockey player laugh, try to use a dirty phrase, such as “stick up your neck.” Other dirty jokes involve the team’s captain. Some tricks include a player taking a shower after three periods or a guy who dumps his dirty laundry in the washing machine.

A short-tempered coach once opened an email and asked for more checks. Another joke involves an ice hockey player on a plane who nearly died. A professional ice hockey player once switched careers and became an accountant. He now spends his days in the boardroom and tries to make his opponents jealous by giving them dirty jokes. Here are some examples of hockey jokes for kids:

When they’re not in the game, hockey players sometimes visit bakeries to earn extra money, even ice cakes. One hockey legend even reached the GAG line while telling a joke. A fat chick can score occasionally, but a skeleton can drive a Zamboni. And if you’re a hockey player, you’re a good candidate for the job since they’ve got plenty of fans.

a hippie chick

Have you ever had a hippie chick ask you out for sex? If so, you know how awkward it can be! If your hippie chick is adamantly against it, she might be even more offended. Fortunately, there are many fun ways to turn this dirty joke on her. If she refuses, the guy who follows her around can always say, “Sorry, I’m not interested!”

Imagine a situation where a hippie has lost her wallet and passport. She is stranded with nothing but her guitar and a shirt on her back. She decides to busk for some cash and starts strumming a tune. After a few seconds, a small crowd gathers, and a man begins dancing in front of her. This is the perfect opportunity to break the fourth wall! The joke is sure to get a laugh.

a pickpocket

A pickpocket is a young girl or boy who tries to steal someone else’s valuables. This evil person has many synonyms, including the devil, ogre, and barbarian. A pickpocket’s most common trick is bump and lift. They reach under the paper and steal the victim’s mobile phone. It’s a dirty joke, but it’s funny nonetheless.

A pickpocket can be awkward to catch. Fortunately, it’s not as difficult as you think! In the classic film “Inigo Montoya,” Inigo Montoya finally catches the six-fingered man, resulting in an uncomfortable ending for both. But what if you’re not a pickpocket? If you’re a pickpocket, there are plenty of examples in movies.

Another dirty joke involves a pickpocket pretending to pick up a gold ring off the pavement. They then ask the victim if the ring belongs to them. If the victim answers “yes,” the pickpocket will continue their conversation while robbing the victim. Sometimes, the thief will offer to sell the gold ring to someone else, but they’ll only do it if they can get some bargain.

In addition to these pranks, pickpockets sometimes pose as friends or predators. They may be disguised as giant corporations, friends, or evil people. It’s all a matter of how you hide them. Remember, picking up people’s valuables is illegal, and many of these crimes go unreported. Therefore, don’t let your guard down when eating out in a restaurant. The back of a chair is a good hiding place for a pickpocket.

a peeping tom

Have you ever wondered if an adult actress drank soda? It’s true. She’s a conniving adult. It’s a dirty joke, but a dirty one nonetheless! The secret behind her devious behavior? A peeping tom. The adult actress’s favorite drink is soda. She drinks it in secret and then tries to make up a story.

If you love dirty jokes, you’ve heard at least one of them. If you’ve never listened to a peeping tom joke, here’s how:

You might have heard some dirty jokes in your life, but have you ever thought of one that was particularly funny? Some examples are Pickpocket versus peeping tom or 365 used condoms versus a tire. If you’ve ever heard a dirty joke, feel free to share it by commenting below. We’d love to hear it!

Funny dirty jokes for adults

People love dirty jokes, so there is no reason not to enjoy them! But, if you are afraid of laughing at an R-rated joke, don’t be embarrassed! Funny dirty jokes for adults are hilarious and are sure to make anyone laugh. If you don’t dare to try an R-rated trick, you can check out these hilarious adult dirty jokes and have a good time! So, how do you find the funny ones?

First of all, dirty jokes are a great way to make people laugh, but they can also be sexual and sexy. Everyone enjoys a good dirty joke, whether inside or outside the bedroom. And if you’re in the mood for a bit of sex and pleasure, dirty jokes are sure to get you rolling. Here’s a dirty joke for your next dinner party:

You’re not alone. Dirty jokes are the most popular sexting material, and while they’re certainly not for every occasion, they’re still incredibly amusing to share with your partner. And who knows, it might even make you better sex or! And what’s more, these jokes can be funny to tell and share with others! So go ahead and share your dirty jokes with your significant other and impress them.

Pickpocket vs. peeping tom

A pickpocket snatches your watch, and a peeping tom watches the snatch. Both are funny dirty jokes that will have your girlfriend screaming in pain. A peeping gynecologist can also use them to catch a man cheating on his girlfriend. You can also call your girlfriend during sex to make her scream.

A celebrity has picked up the most infamous dirty joke, but the idea is as old as time itself. There was a time when Jamie Foxx made this joke famous. After her appearance on Laugh-In, she starred in many comedy projects and appeared on countless late-night shows. She even interviewed Cher with her sinister snorting laugh. The joke’s origins were obscure, but the snort was menacing, and she was supposed to be a friend. Her prank was a clever poke at significant telephone companies, such as AT&T, Verizon, and MTS.

365 used condoms vs. a tire

If you’re an avid reader of dirty jokes, you’ve most likely heard the ‘365 used condoms versus a tire’ story. This old saw shows how the two items are pretty similar but very different in a crude yet hilarious way. In addition, 365 used condoms are not the same as one tire. One year’s worth of condoms is not enough to circumcise a Lannister. However, you can circumcise a Lannister by kicking her in the jaw.

The best waterslide for children is the throat. Similarly, circumcision is a scam. And don’t be fooled by cheap circumcision; the results are often disastrous. And, if you don’t like farting, you’d better hire a private tutor. One of the best ways to prevent farting is to hire a private tutor.

Oral vs. rectal thermometer

If you have ever wondered how a person’s temperature is measured, you have probably come across an owl or a rectal thermometer. These instruments can measure temperature and determine whether someone is using drugs. However, there is a difference between the two. It is always better to chew before swallowing, as eating a pig’s penis before suckling it is not a good idea.

If you have ever used an oral thermometer, you’ve most likely figured out that they’re different. Likewise, you might have heard of a leper who says something after having sex with a prostitute. Another dirty joke involves a sign that says “how to circumcise a hillbilly” on a disused brothel. The trick isn’t necessarily offensive, but it is still hilarious.