Ruthless Vampire

by Elona Laforge
(Regina Saskatchewan North america )

EXT. A BOOK SHOP - AFTERNOON

Brave detective D ELONA RABBIT is arguing with caring detective SIR RIAN PUT. ELONA tries to hug RIAN but she shakes her off.

ELONA
Please rian, don't leave me.
RIAN
I'm sorry Elona, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces her fears head on, instead of running away.
ELONA
I am such a person!
RIAN frowns.

RIAN
I'm sorry, Elona. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
RIAN leaves.

ELONA sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, charming lawyer DCI FLORA WILSON barges in looking flustered.

ELONA
Goodness, Flora! Is everything okay?
FLORA
I'm afraid not.
ELONA
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
FLORA
It's ... a vampire ... I saw an evil vampire shoot a bunch of swimmers!
ELONA
Defenseless swimmers?
FLORA
Yes, defenseless swimmers!
ELONA
Bloomin' heck, Flora! We've got to do something.
FLORA
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
ELONA
You can start by telling me where this happened.
FLORA
I was...
FLORA fans herself and begins to wheeze.

ELONA
Focus Flora, focus! Where did it happen?
FLORA
Hatfield House! That's right - Hatfield House!
ELONA springs up and begins to run.


EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS

ELONA rushes along the street, followed by FLORA. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.


INT. HATFIELD HOUSE - SHORTLY AFTER

GEORGINA RAYMOND a ruthless vampire terrorises two swimmers.

ELONA, closely followed by FLORA, rushes towards GEORGINA, but suddenly stops in her tracks.

FLORA
What is is? What's the matter?
ELONA
That's not just any old vampire, that's Georgina Raymond!
FLORA
Who's Georgina Raymond?
ELONA
Who's Georgina Raymond? Who's Georgina Raymond? Only the most ruthless vampire in the universe!
FLORA
Blinkin' knickers, Elona! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most ruthless vampire in the universe!
ELONA
You can say that again.
FLORA
Blinkin' knickers, Elona! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most ruthless vampire in the universe!
ELONA
I'm going to need swords, lots of swords.
Georgina turns and sees Elona and Flora. She grins an evil grin.

GEORGINA
Elona Rabbit, we meet again.
FLORA
You've met?
ELONA
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...

EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME

A young ELONA is sitting in a park listening to some drum and bass music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over her.

She looks up and sees GEORGINA. She takes off her headphones.

GEORGINA
Would you like some peppermints?
ELONA's eyes light up, but then he studies GEORGINA more closely, and looks uneasy.

ELONA
I don't know, you look kind of ruthless.
GEORGINA
Me? No. I'm not ruthless. I'm the least ruthless vampire in the world.
ELONA
Wait, you're a vampire?
ELONA runs away, screaming.


INT. HATFIELD HOUSE - PRESENT DAY

GEORGINA
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
FLORA
(To ELONA) You ran away?
ELONA
(To FLORA) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
ELONA turns to GEORGINA.

ELONA
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
ELONA runs away.

She turns back and shouts.

ELONA
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with swords.
GEORGINA
I'm not scared of you.
ELONA
You should be.

EXT. A LIBRARY - LATER THAT DAY

ELONA and FLORA walk around searching for something.

ELONA
I feel sure I left my swords somewhere around here.
FLORA
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly swords.
ELONA
You know nothing Flora Wilson.
FLORA
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
Suddenly, GEORGINA appears, holding a pair of swords.

GEORGINA
Looking for something?
FLORA
Crikey, Elona, she's got your swords.
ELONA
Tell me something I don't already know!
FLORA
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
ELONA
I know that already!
FLORA
I still wear nappies.
GEORGINA
(appalled) Dude!
While GEORGINA is looking at FLORA with disgust, ELONA lunges forward and grabs her deadly swords. He wields them, triumphantly.

ELONA
Prepare to die, you ruthless cabbage!
GEORGINA
No please! All I did was shoot a bunch of swimmers!
RIAN enters, unseen by any of the others.

ELONA
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those swimmers were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Elona Rabbit defender of innocent swimmers.
GEORGINA
Don't hurt me! Please!
ELONA
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these swords on you right away!
GEORGINA
Because Elona, I am your mother.
ELONA looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects herself.

ELONA
No you're not!
GEORGINA
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
GEORGINA tries to grab the swords but ELONA dodges out of the way.

ELONA
Who's the mummy now? Huh? Huh?
Unexpectedly, GEORGINA slumps to the ground.

FLORA
Did she just faint?
ELONA
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly swords.
ELONA crouches over GEORGINA's body.

FLORA
Be careful, Elona. It could be a trick.
ELONA
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Georgina Raymond is dead!
ELONA
What?
ELONA
Yes, it appears that I scared her to death.
FLORA claps her hands.

FLORA
So your swords did save the day, after all.
RIAN steps forward.

RIAN
Is it true? Did you kill the ruthless vampire?
ELONA
rian how long have you been...?
RIAN puts her arm around ELONA.

RIAN
Long enough.
ELONA
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Georgina Raymond.
RIAN
Then the swimmers are safe?
ELONA
It does seem that way!
A crowd of vulnerable swimmers enter, looking relived.

RIAN
You are their hero.
The swimmers bow to ELONA.

ELONA
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Georgina Raymond will never shoot swimmers ever again, is enough for me.
RIAN
You are humble as well as brave!
One of the swimmers passes ELONA a gold necklace

RIAN
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
ELONA
I couldn't possibly.
Pause.

ELONA
Well, if you insist.
ELONA takes the necklace.

ELONA
Thank you.
The swimmers bow their heads once more, and leave.

ELONA turns to RIAN.

ELONA
Does this mean you want me back?
RIAN
Oh, Elona, of course I want you back!
ELONA smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

ELONA
Well you can't have me.
RIAN
WHAT?
ELONA
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a vampire to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
RIAN
But...
ELONA
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Flora.
FLORA grins.

RIAN
But...
FLORA
You heard the lady. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
RIAN
Elona?
ELONA
I'm sorry rian, but I think you should skidaddle.
RIAN leaves.

FLORA turns to ELONA.

FLORA
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
ELONA
Of course you are!
The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly FLORA stops.

FLORA
When I said I still wear nappies, you know I was just trying to distract the vampire don't you?
THE END

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